Thank You Mom and Dad

Today is my 43rd birthday.  To celebrate my birthday, instead of my usual self centered cancer reflection, I would like to to write about my parents.  I always knew I had great parents but my cancer diagnosis has reinforced their depth of love and devotion to their not always perfect son. 

From the very beginning of my diagnosis my parents have wanted to know what was going on with the process of diagnosis and treatment for cancer.  They were not looking to have the sugar coated version to protect themselves from any pain or anguish.  As my mother says "we don't keep secrets".  And they have taken in all the information about my diagnosis and prognosis without flinching.  They have accepted my diagnosis and decided that they will do whatever is in their power to help me and our family get through this experience intact.

They have been available on the phone to talk whenever I needed.  They have come to Acton numerous times for weeks at a time to make sure that I did not have to go to any doctor's appointments by myself.  They were there to support Elyse while she was waiting for me to get through my initial biopsy surgery and they have been supportive in every way possible since.

My parents have helped with every aspect of our lives from making delicious dinners, helping with household chores, and shuttling the girls to various lessons and doctor's appointments.  They never say we ask too much, they just ask what else they can do to help.  They put up with staying in our not so large home and graciously witnessed the sometimes outlandish behavior of adolescent girls.

My parents are always eager to talk with the girls, play a game with them, listen to their latest musical creation or bad joke or just watch the Colbert Report together in companionable silence.  Truly they are engaged grandparents of the highest order.

Elyse and I would never have been as successful with this transition in our lives without the help that they offer continue to offer us. 

Personally, the support and encouragement that have offered me have gone far in helping me to begin to mentally and emotionally accept my diagnosis of cancer and the beginning of treatment. I would not have wanted to attend my doctors appointments with various oncologists without them.  Their presence made hearing not so good news much more tolerable.

I am also grateful that they were able to accompany me to my first appointments as I began my radiation treatment this week and adjusted to the reality of  beginning cancer treatment.  Today was the first day that I have had to drive to Boston by myself for treatment.  All my other trips were taken with my Mom and Dad and particularly with my mother. 

I truly missed having my mother's easy companionship today.  I did not realize how much I have benefited from our hours long conversations as we sat in traffic.  No topic was off limits, we talked about what it means to have cancer, how to live with cancer and every other topic imaginable that two mental health therapists in a car would discuss.  My mother is incredibly generous in sharing her own experiences and feelings, and reflections about her bouts of cancer to help me cope with the emotional ups and downs that I am experiencing.

As I reflect over the past 43 years of my life I realize that I have not always been the best son.   I have said things to them in anger or irritability that I truly wish I had not said.  I did not call or visit as frequently as I should have.  Yet through it all my parents have loved me and believed in me and for that I could not be more grateful or thankful.

I think about who I am as a person on my 43rd birthday, I have flaws and problems, but I truly believe that whatever good there is in me comes from my parents and the love and devotion that they have shown to me all of my life.

Thank you for everything Mom and Dad I love you both so much.